Delegates at the Millennium Hotel Mayfair London... Tammy tells her shocking story to the conference:- "In the best interest of the child" that's what the professional's state,but even the professionals and the family courts can be wrong as they werein my case. Let me explain about my birth family, and myself. I am a young adoptedadult; I was taken from my mum nearly 17 years ago on a false allegation, Iwas seven months old and sitting in my bouncing chair, my mum had gone intothe kitchen to make me a night feed. I was happily playing with an activitytoy, which I dropped on the floor; I leant forward to reach the toy but thechair followed me arid tipped forward falling on top of me. I sustained abruise on my cheek. And that's where my life was changed forever. My case was heard within the family court in the years 1989 which lasted allthe way to 1992. I was placed with a set of foster carers whom I stayed withfor 13 months. Then one-day social services accused the foster carers of suffering fromdepression and removed me from their care! I was then placed with three lotsof emergency foster carers before being placed with my pre adopters, whothen became my parents. While this was happening to me my mum gave birth to my brother Cameron. Oneminute after his birth social services (a male) walked into the labour suiteand tried to hand a place and safety order in writing to my mum who was laidon the bed with no clothes on and she had not even delivered the placenta.Medical staff asked the social worker to leave on three occasions eventuallythe social worker left the labour suite, leaving my mum very distressed andlosing all her dignity. My mum and Cameron went home to my grandparents where they resided until the28th of December 1990. My mum then went to the family court as socialservices were trying for an interim care order to remove my brother from hercare. My mum fought and won full parental rights of Cameron and no furtheraction was taken. All my mum wanted was to fight for me, she attended many family courts,which were held in secret and she was not allowed to talk about our case orme to anyone. Time passed and Cameron reached the age of 21 months old, when the socialservices actually reached a date for my freeing order, which was in the yearof 1992; there were no concerns to Cameron's welfare. She was an excellentmother to him. The judge who heard my case made his decision on the basis that socialservices had delayed my case for over two and a half years. On reading hisdecision to my mum (he stated) "Miss Coulter if I return your daughter hometo you, you will be a stranger to her" and on that decision I was freed foradoption and my whole future was completely changed. Finding out that you are adopted is one of the worst feelings in the worldbecause you feel that all your identity you have known of yourself is a lie;for example your whole childhood and personality. I found out through photos that my brother was still with my mum and is oneand a half years younger than me. This was very upsetting and left mewondering why my mum wanted my brother and not me. Left with these unanswered questions and feeling very confused; like I didnot belong anywhere I wanted to find the truth, and the answers to myquestions, the only person who could answer them was my mum. My decision to find my birth family was not supported in the way in which Iwould have liked from my adoptive parents. I went about looking for my mumby first of all ringing support after adoption that told me I must waituntil I am 18 years of age and would not offer me any help or advice. Whichleft me more confused and very upset? In January this year on a Thursday night I received a phone call from mybest friend. She told me to go over to her house, as it was very important.I had no idea of what I was to be told. Her laptop was placed on her bed andshe told me to read the posting. I was ecstatic as I read the information,which confirmed that my mum was looking for me as much as I was looking forher. My friend who knew as much as I did about my adoption found the posting whensecretly putting my name on GENES REUNITED. I found myself emailing her mymobile number as I knew the same information which was written in herposting; which included information that nobody would have known about me. I waited three and a half hours for the phone call which would change mywhole life, and answer all the unanswered questions which had beentormenting me since the age of about 11 when I moved to Comprehensive Schoolwhere I met many other adopted and fostered children. Waiting for the phone call was the most exciting and precious time of mylife, the hours seemed like weeks. In the next breath I was actually talkingto my mum on the phone, we spoke for an hour about everything that we could.We put the phone down and later that evening I rang my mum back and told herI know it was short notice but could we please meet the following morningand she agreed to. Our meeting was very emotional for the both of us, neither of us spoke wejust put our arms around each other and cried together, we held each othervery tight and I cant explain how happy I was feeling. After many secret meetings I decided to tell my adoptive parents about mynews, I did not tell them for about two months because I knew what theirreaction would be. When I told my mum, as my dad was at work she cried andturned her back on me making me feel very isolated as if I had donesomething wrong. They never did understand why it was important that I findmy birth family nor did they support me at the emotional time. I was keepingin contact via the Internet with my birth family as my mobile phone wasconfiscated; however they also stopped me from using the Internet to stopany contact, which I was having with my birth family. During this time I wasstudying for my AS levels which I failed due to all the stress andconfusion. The way my adoptive parents were towards my other life caused a hugeconflict in the house making life unbearable at home and at school. I waseventually turned away from my home due to arguments other than my birthparents; this is when I phoned my birth mum, as I had nowhere else to turn.It was too late when I was asked to return to the house I did not want to betreated like a child nor did I want to my feelings to be ignored any longer,so I decided to move in with my birth family. This brings me to why I am here today, I was a child who was wrongfullyremoved from the care of my mother and most of all I have had the rightstaken away from me to have enjoyed the right to a family life with mynatural family. I would like to say I have had a good upbringing by my adoptive parents andI love them very much, however the complication of my adoption also ruinedmy relationship with my adoptive parents, as I only wanted to find the truthabout my life. I am publicly speaking today on behalf of children and parents who have alsobeen through the secrecy of family courts and the injustices that have takenplace and do still take place and the devastation of what one decision thatdetermines the future of a child can cause to a whole family. Since I have moved in with my birth family I see the relationship between mymother, brother and sister and cannot help feeling like I have missed out nomatter how much I fit in now. We have all bonded very well, I now feel as ifI fit in somewhere and feel I can be myself as I have found out who I reallyam and that my mum never did anything wrong. Over the years Yvonne has beenfighting to prove her innocence and that an injustice has taken place. I amvery angry and also upset that my mum was treated like a criminal andpunished for life on something that she never did, and she had the right toa family life taken away. Let me explain to you how I am feeling: . Confused . Hurt . Stripped of my identity . I missed out on a relationship with my brothers and sisters, mum and dadand other close relations . Exhausted through lies . I know I am not the only person to have gone through the hell of secrecyin family courts and hope to have expressed the way in which they will feeland are feeling at my age. Changes that I would like to see happen. 1) For medical evidence used in the courts to not be based on probabilitieswhen determining a child's future, it must be fact. 2) To stop social services making medical diagnoses when not qualified to doso. 3) For social services when conducting assessments to be thorough and notbased on self-opinions but facts. 4) For an independent body who is impartial to social services to be broughtin when social services are assessing a family and to check they arefollowing all guide lines of social work. 5) More support for families with whatever reason; a low IQ, a mother whomhas depression, a parent that has suffered domestic violence and also aparent whom has a disability. More outside agencies should be involved tohelp put support packages in place to help families stay together and havethe right to a family life. 6) Slow integration of a child back with its natural family should beparamount and decisions to take away the child should be the last resort.For example my mum was told she would be a stranger to me if I were returnedhome to her however my foster parents and my adoptive parents were alsostrangers. 7) The most important factor of us all being here today is about the secrecysurrounding the family courts and why they should be opened, you have alllistened to my story and many of you would have read similar stories to minein the media. I am of age where I can talk about the detrimental effectsthat the secrecy of the family courts has caused to me. Many of the children who have been taken in the past and are still beingtaken do not have a voice. The opening of the family courts would make it a fairer, non judgmental anda more impartial system which would help children that are left in the handsof abuser's and would also work by stopping children from being wrongfullyremoved and injustices from taking place. So please when considering the opening of the family courts take intoaccount that we are all human and we have feelings and the way in which thecourts have been working up to this day has been inhumane in many cases andhuman rights have been exploited. The detrimental emotional effects and the separation, has on children tornapart from their birth families, lasts a life time. Tammy